What would you do if you were my dad it's more of an ethic question then law please help?

You can't name someone other than your spouse as your life insurance beneficiary unless your spouse agrees to it in writing. He would of course be the one to benefit from the insurance. Why is it that the death benefit hasn't been paid yet? It should have been paid shortly after your Mother's death unless the death was suspicious. It would be nice for you if he would help you get some schooling to where you could become self supporting. Have you asked him if you could borrow money for this purpose? It could be that he feels like he has supported you for the last four years and he doesn't see you getting anywhere or improving yourself so he doesn't want to give you a hand out. What line of work were you in before you decided to take a year off? Do you have any special marketable skills? How much time do you devote to searching for a job every week? The economy is improving somewhat now and jobs are increasing some. You need to position yourself to get hired. Get up every day, get shaved & showered & get dressed and get put looking. Some states have special programs to help people in your position. Go go your state workforce commission and ask for help. Inquire at trade schools and colleges and anywhere that offers on the job training. There are student loans, too. You mostly need to change your attitude and learn to do for yourself again. Good luck.